I've always had an uneasy relationship with pronouns.
When I was a teen-ager, somebody taught me how to use them. She sat me on a chair next to a pillow and told me to talk to the pillow about how I felt. Instead, I pretended I was the pillow and I told Sheila, "She feels this. She feels that."
We began again, (and again and again). But every time I tried to say, "I feel," I first became angry, and then, if I worked through it, experienced a floating sensation, growing strangely disconnected from my body, as if I were dangling in the air above my own head.
So Sheila rubbed my back gently and taught me to breathe from the bottom of my belly. Yoga breath. And in time, it became easier to say, "I feel" and "I am."
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